I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
