dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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