Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
