all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
