do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
