I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
