He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
