he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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