It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
