I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
