Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
