in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he was CRYING into my vagina
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
