i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
