What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
