You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
