their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
