Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
