He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize