thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just pynch a tree in the face
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
