Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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