i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
