her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
