its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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