did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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