I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize