and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
