Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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