There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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