What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
