I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
smell my finger.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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