I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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