I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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