Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
