I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
