You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
