My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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