Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
