It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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