Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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