butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
