Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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