I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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