Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
