P.S. I can't hear my feet
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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