so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
