I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
