So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
