This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
