I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
