chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize