I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
