You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
