I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
