Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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