Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if only i could text you this smell
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
