I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
