Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
