There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize