He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he fucked my hip out of place.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
