I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize