Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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