Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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