The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
