I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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