I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
